Trapped in Wishes
by Burakku's Shadow
Summary: Envy is forced into a lamp, and after 400 years finally falls into the hands of Edward Elric. What chaos could come from this? Collab with StarLightning101.
1. Prologue

**Summary: **Envy is forced into a lamp, and after 400 years finally falls into the hands of Edward Elric. What chaos could come from this? Collab with StarLightning101.

**A/N:** At last, we've gotten around to the writing stage! WHOO!! Ah…anyway, this is a story idea I've been discussing with Star, and the only final touches we really need are what the extra wishes are (assuming we don't outright skip a few wishes to get to the ending…). Oh, don't be fooled by this "chapter", this story's meant to be humor. It should come around to that in, say…the next chapter XD

On with the show…!

_Prologue_

"Envy," a gruff voice said in a commanding tone, the man owning that voice stepping forward warningly. "You've disobeyed me again."

The boy before him, whose only similar characteristic to the man were his purple eyes (somewhere between lavender and amethyst), gave an almost invisible twitch to the tone used against him, trying not to lower his gaze. "I haven't disobeyed you, Father."

"Bullshit!" another character spat out, eyes also of a purplish color narrowing in anger. "The little brat _rescued_ the humans that we needed for the Philosopher's Stone! Now we're stuck with this brain-dead…_thing_!" he fumed, pointing toward a muscular-looking man with a blank stare on his face. The woman beside him didn't look pleased, either, while the pudgy man near her looked a tad frightened, nibbling on his pinky nervously.

"Is this true, Envy?"

The boy now addressed as Envy lowered his gaze almost guiltily, a slight wrinkle appearing between his brows. "I don't want humans to die…" Purplish eyes turned back to the man he had called Father after hearing him sigh, a small glimmer of slight fear lighting them as he noticed the stern, almost angry look he was receiving. "Is there any way we can create Philosopher's Stones without killing them?"

Silence ensued, with most everyone's attention being on either the Father or Envy. The one with the furious outburst certainly seemed most angry with the youngest in the small room, the woman seeming to sympathize with him a little, and the other two seeming to be occupied with their own thoughts (particularly the muscular man, who still bore the same blank expression).

Father sighed again, walking toward Envy with a calmer gate than before and placing a hand on his shoulder. "You have to be the one to learn, don't you?"

"First to learn what?" the boy asked nervously, worried by the tone of sadness in the older man's voice. "What are you going to have me do?"

A light of excitement lit the temperamental man's eyes, realizing Father's implication. Unlike him, however, the woman in a black dress looked almost horrified.

"Come with me, son," the oldest said in a low tone, beginning to lead the youngest toward a door with a special lock on it. Pulling out a ring of keys from within his white robe, he offered it to Envy. "Would you do the honor?"

…_honor?_

The boy took the keys, stiffening when he heard a snicker from one of the older men. "What's so funny, Greed?" He narrowed his gaze on the shark-toothed man, unhappy about the smirk on the other's face.

"Don't mind him," Father said gently, tapping the youngest's shoulder to regain his attention. "Just unlock the door so we can get through."

Giving a half-hearted glare at Greed and an uncertain look toward the woman (who now looked rather depressed), Envy turned back around to the door, selected a key and inserted it into the lock. Taking it off, he pulled down the handle and the door swung inward with a creak.

"Envy?"

"Yeah, Lust?" he asked, trying to smother the shakiness in his voice as he turned to look at the beautiful woman.

"Behave yourself, alright?" she said with a small sigh, giving him a weak smile.

"Be good!" the pudgy man beside her supported, straightening up and pulling his pinky out of his mouth to wave. Greed snickered at him, while the remaining character remained unchanged.

Father placed his hand on Envy's shoulder, giving him a similar look to what Lust had. "Let's go," he said simply with almost no emotion, stepping into the room the same time his son did.

At the center of the room was a small table with something like an oil lamp resting on top of it. Beyond that, the room was bare with the exception of the strange circles that covered the floor, walls and ceiling.

A subtle frown settled onto the younger boy's face, confusion in his eyes. "Father, what is this…?"

"You'll see." Father stepped farther into the room after the door closed by itself behind them, giving a small wave. "Come."

"I still don't understand…" Envy cautiously approached the table, poking its white ivory surface as if it might burn him. "How does this relate to us creating Philosopher's Stones?"

"In many ways," he answered simply, gently stroking the golden-colored item with almost a sense of reverence. "Envy, you have to learn to hate humans."

He flinched and pulled back a little, as if the idea revolted him. "Why? What have they ever done to me or any of us?" A small, more noticeable shudder vibrated through his body at the dark look he received from his father.

"You sympathize with them too much," he said in a serious tone, turning to fully face his son. "And that gets in the way. To make Philosopher's Stones, you have to have no heart for the vermin."

"Vermin…?"

"You will understand soon enough." Picking up the lamp, Father slowly began to walk away from the table, motioning toward it. "It's time for the lesson to start. Sit on the table." Nodding at the instant obedience from his youngest child, he raised the lamp with an extended arm, the spout pointing directly at Envy's chest.

The unfortunate boy looked around the room in a panic as the circles lit up with a blue glow, eyes wide. "Father…!?" Slit-like pupils shrank further 'till they weren't hardly noticeable when bright blue bracelet-like fabric appeared on his wrists and a darker blue material similar to a sash appeared around his waist, a sudden wind beginning to pull him toward the lamp. "Father!" In a matter of seconds, Envy had vanished into the depths of the lamp, the man holding said item looking down upon it with pity.

"I was hoping you'd never have to learn it this way," he said sadly, turning toward the door as a _'click'_ sounded and the door opened by itself.


	2. Master Edward

**Summary:** Oh, you already know…

**A/N:** Chapter one, YIPPEEE!! Ah…alrighty, Star and I had decided that we were gonna do our chapters separately, e-mail them to each other for editing, and once we get it the way we want 'em to be, we (as in me) post the chapters. Since I wrote the prologue (and she didn't demand any changes), then she wrote this chapter (which I've edited), and then I'll write the next chapter, and her the next, etc. and on…anyway, long-blab-short, we're taking turns. Here's where the humor's supposed to kick in XD

Carryin' on…!

_Master Edward_

White gloved hands skimmed over the book titles, occasionally stopping to brush some dust off the titles scrawled onto the spines. They almost completely skipped over a gap between books when one of the fingers brushed against an object and made it _'clink'_ against the wooden shelf.

"Huh?" The boy attached to the hands, wearing a blood-red cloak and having long gold-blonde hair, stood further onto his tippy-toes to grab the item he felt. "What's this?" Gold eyes narrowed when they beheld a lamp of a faint golden color, the tarnish telling of its age. "Why's it in the library…?" Looking closer at the bottom, he mumbled, "Can't read the label…" Rubbing his thumb to remove some old dust, he almost dropped the lamp when a mysterious figure appeared in front of him.

This figure turned out to be Envy, now looking older (somewhere between 14 and 17 years instead of 9 or 11) but otherwise wearing the same halter-top, skort, fingerless gloves and something relating to heelless- and toeless-socks as when he was first imprisoned into the lamp. He also still had the blue bracelets and darker blue sash around his waist.

"Wha…!?" The blonde boy nearly fell backward in startled alarm, pointing a trembling finger at the other male. "Who are you and how did you get here without me detecting your presence!?"

Envy rolled his amethyst eyes in impatience, sighing in slight agitation. "Alright, let's cut to the chase…I'm a genie, that's my lamp. You rubbed it, now you have three wishes." He glared at the impudent creature that continued to gawk at him like an idiot. "What're you gawking at?"

"B-But…!" He looked down at the lamp he still held in gloved hands in disbelief, almost looking like he had finished listening to a ghost story. "Genie's are a scientific impossibility…!"

"Hey," the taller male started, stepping toward the lamp, "If you don't want me, I'm more than happy to go back into the lamp." He began to lean toward the lamp when…

"Hold on a minute!" The smaller clapped a hand over the spout, which sent an invisible wind that nearly knocked Envy backward. "Three wishes? Are there any limit as to how long I have 'em?"

The genie frowned at him suspiciously. "No…" The frown deepened at the broad grin on the younger-looking boy's face. "What's with the look? Are you gonna make your wishes or what?" he changed his question in impatience, folding his arms and beginning to tap his foot.

"Although I was looking for information on the Philosopher's Stone…" A twinkle in his eye, as well as the subject of which the boy was talking about, caused Envy to raise a slender brow. "I think this is more beneficial."

"Are ya gonna make the wishes or not, Pipsqueak?"

Instant fury lit the smaller boy as he hollered "Who're you calling so puny a mouse would call me a pipsqueak, you damn palm tree!?"

While this was going on, two nearby librarians looked at each other with worry.

"Who's he yelling at?" one asked the other, obviously not being able to see the cause of the commotion. "I don't see any palm trees…"

"He's another psychopath," the other whispered to the first, looking suspicious. "A danger to the people in this library." She ignored the fact that the two males were the only others in the entire library. "We should get him outta here as soon as possible."

"What're we gonna frame him for, being too loud?"

"Exactly!" the other woman exclaimed, twirling toward the only male she could see and striding up to him. "Sir, you're being too loud. I'm afraid I'll have to kick you out."

"Nobody's here!!" the red-cloaked boy exclaimed angrily, waving his hand exaggeratedly toward the empty chairs. "Who am I interrupting!?" He seemed about ready to say more when he suddenly started looking around in a frenzy. "Hey, where'd he go!?"

"Time for you to go, sir," the librarian said as calmly as she could, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him out of the library. "Thank you for visiting the military library, 4th branch!"

The poor boy looked around dazedly from his seat on the stairs outside the library, looking confused. "Wha…?"

"One thing I forgot to mention," Envy started rather calmly, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and frightening the other male into falling all the way down the stairs. "No one else can see me," he added as he mysteriously appeared behind the fallen child, this time standing instead of crouching, with his hands on his hips. "Now are ya gonna wish for something? A ride to the hospital, perhaps?" he suggested as he noticed the scrapes on his new master's being.

"Would you stop doing that!?" He shakily stood up, brushing himself off. "And I'll make my wishes when I'm good and ready," he stated with finality as he turned around and started heading down the street, pausing to look at the lamp he still had in his hands. "Do you genies sleep?"

"Of course…when the person who's found the lamp does, anyway. Why?"

"Oh," the boy drawled with a mischievous smirk, "Just curious." His grin dissipated as a rather loud growl emitted from his stomach. "Hungry…" he moaned, clutching his stomach.

"How about that wish, then?" Envy was walking beside the young human, a somewhat hopeful glimmer in his eyes. It quickly vanished when the shorter of the pair glared at him.

"I'm payin' for my own food like a normal person. I'm not using magic for something I can supply myself anytime I want."

Envy once again rolled his eyes at the younger boy, obviously annoyed by the fact that any wishes had yet to be made. "Might as well know…what's your name?"

"Edward Elric," the cloaked child answered, beginning to smile. "The Fullmetal Alchemist." Gold eyes turned toward amethyst ones. "And yours?"

"Just call me Envy," the genie answered with a vague nod, looking around at the nearly deserted streets. "Well…if you need me for anything, preferably wishing, just rub the lamp, alright?" he instructed, disappearing into the lamp.

Edward blinked at the item he still held in surprise, looking around before placing it delicately into an inner pocket within his cloak and continuing on his way.

–_**the following morning –**_

"Alright, Ed," Envy called without being too loud, shaking the slumbering human. "Time to get up." A subtle frown materialized onto his otherwise handsome face when a hand swiped at him. "Hey, it's Thursday. Don't State Alchemists have work on work days? Besides, it'll give you a great opportunity to make wishes." He started shaking Edward again, this time more impatiently. "C'mon, get up already!"

"I'll be up in a bit…" the blonde mumbled almost incoherently, waving feebly. "Can you fix me some breakfast?"

"I'm not your servant."

"Then here's my first wish…I wish you were my servant." He seemed oblivious to the indignant scoff from the genie. "Now can you fix me some breakfast?"

A furious scowl adorned his face, amethyst eyes flashing. "Fine…I'll fix your breakfast," he growled, turning toward the door and stepping out. "_But_ when I come back, I want to see you out of bed and fully dressed."

So the genie arrived at the kitchen, fixed up some bacon and eggs, and returned to Ed's room to find…

"Eh? What the…?"

Edward, obedient to Envy's little command, was indeed out of bed…but on the floor, snoozing. And he was fully dressed…but in the same black T-shirt, leather pants and leather boots he wore the day before (with the minor exception of the blood-red cloak, which hung on a hook on the door).

Envy, with an angry look on his face, trudged over to the human and lightly kicked his shoulder. "Get up, Ed."

"I'm outta bed…" drawled the drowsy boy, hardly moving from where he had rolled out of bed on the floor.

"Uh-huh, I can see that." Rolling his eyes, the taller male crouched down and lowered the tray of food. "Here's breakfast, Master Edward," he added, using a somewhat snobbish tone for the last two words.

Ed, apparently oblivious to the tone used by his new servant, perked up at the smell of eggs and bacon and was instantly awake, wolfing down as much food as possible. He didn't notice the bizarre look Envy was giving him.

"You're not gonna choke, are you? That wouldn't be very good, considering you have two wishes left."

"Eager to get those wishes done and over with, aren't you?" the younger asked, seeming to have eaten everything in just two bites. "Like I said, I'll make my wishes when I'm good and ready."

"I also recall you saying you wouldn't use magic on something you could supply yourself with on your own," the taller male retorted, looking a tad smug.

"Which is exactly what I did," Ed replied, giving Envy a similar look. "I couldn't supply myself a servant without magic, so I used a wish!" He grinned at the frown the other offered, standing up and picking up the tray. "I'll get ready for work," he reported in a small-talk tone, stepping out of the room. "You just wait here 'till I get back to fetch you."

"Grrr…" Amethyst eyes were once again flashing, jaws set to prevent tooth-grinding. "I'm not just some item to be fetched, you filthy human…!" He sat down Indian-style, crossed his arms, and waited 'till his new master returned.

"Let's get to work," Ed said cheerfully, carefully putting on his cloak and making sure nothing had damaged the lamp still in the pocket. "Who knows, this might be your lucky day and I may make another wish." He smiled when he saw the genie's expression of excitement, gently patting the dim-gold item after its occupant had entered. "You know when you're being summoned."


	3. Attack of the Fangirls

**Summary:** Not needed…

**A/N:** Now it's my turn! Wonder what's gonna happen… -snickers- X3

_Attack of the Fangirls_

Red-soled boots thudded against the sidewalk, strides taken in a leisurely fashion as if there wasn't a thing in the world that could make this seemingly pleasant day turn bad.

Edward was preparing to turn a corner near a very specific house (slate-gray roof tiles, white walls, nothing special) when abruptly the front door swung open. Gold eyes widened in horror as the screams of crazed fangirls reached his ears and he instantly started running away from the house as fast as he could.

As he ran, his cloak rubbed against the lamp, thus awakening the genie inside of it.

Envy appeared beside the young alchemist, contrarily seeming to be at an easy jog rather than a desperate run. A slender brow raised as he asked curiously, "You called?" Noting the desperation in the human's eyes, he turned around (still at a leisurely pace with his fingers laced behind his head) and gave the girls a nonchalant look. "Oh, fangirls. That's not so bad."

"Not so bad!?" the cloaked boy yelled breathlessly, glaring daggers at his genie. "You don't know what you're talking about! Have you ever been chased by rabid, good-for-nothing fangirls!?" He almost scoffed when the other male shook his head except he was still running and trying to breathe. After a moment, a mischievous grin spread on his face. "Oh Envy," he called in a sickeningly sweet tone that was almost destroyed by his panting, "I have a second wish!"

The taller looked at the smaller with a look of excitement, a large smile on his face at the mention of a wish. "Yeah?"

Pointing a gloved hand at the genie, Ed exclaimed, "I wish these fangirls were yours!"

The smile on Envy's face slowly disappeared and his already pale face turned white. "You didn't…" Amethyst eyes widened in horror as he saw the T-shirts of the girls change from that of "I heart Edward" to "I heart Envy" and he spun around on his heels, this time running with much more effort (and far exceeding the efforts of his human master).

The blonde slowed to a stop, leaning against the fence while the girls rushed past him. "Run, Forrest, run!" He laughed whilst trying to catch his breath, cupping his hands around his mouth to make sure his "victim" heard him. "That's what happens when you call your master 'pipsqueak'," he added in a low tone, grinning wickedly as the genie disappeared out of sight.

While that was happening, Envy had evidently ran far enough away for the girls to get lost trying to find him (or so he thought), at the same time far enough for his "dependence" on the lamp to be evident.

The bracelets on his wrists had shrunk, turning his hands a bluish-purple color and the sash had grown and tightened around both his waist and diaphragm, making it difficult for him to breathe. "I hate that lamp," he hissed, beginning to walk down a street that lead to Ed's general direction.

Suddenly, the fangirls appeared behind them, hearts for eyes and…well, hearts flying everywhere they went. "We love you, Envy!" they all screamed, reaching out toward the unfortunate genie. One of them yelled "I'm getting a palm tree and naming it after you!"

"Not that palm tree joke again…!" Sucking in as much air as he could into his lungs, he sprinted down the street, obviously faster than the humans chasing him. As he approached the alchemist's location, the blue bracelets and sash returned to their proper sizes. Turning two more corners, he skidded to a stop and glared savagely at the boy leaning coolly against the fence. "You…!"

"What?" Ed asked calmly, smiling at the fuming genie. "Like you said, it's not that bad, right?" When the other male started toward him, he pulled out the lamp and waved it carefully in the air. "Ah, ah, ah, you wouldn't harm your loving master, now would you?"

Stiff fingers slowly curled into fists, his being seething with hate. "Oh, how I loathe you…!"

"Love you too!" The teen joked, placing the lamp back delicately into his cloak's inner pocket.

"That's sick!" Envy began to complain, wanting to say more except the familiar scream of crazed girls reached their ears. "Oh, no…!"

The smaller of the pair smirked, waving for his genie to follow. "C'mon, in here." He then proceeded to calmly lead the other male into a deserted alleyway, motioning for him to seat himself behind a trashcan.

The fangirls rushed past their hiding place, not even bothering to look for some odd reason.

Envy leaned against the wall in relief, sinking to the floor.

Ed, being the odd boy that he is, noticed there happened to be a palm tree randomly growing in the alleyway. "Hey, I think you two are related," he teased, pointing at the plant and grinning at his genie.

Amethyst eyes locked coldly onto gold ones. "Not, another, word," he hissed, wrinkling his nose distastefully.

"What about the final wish?"

"Let me guess," he growled, rolling his eyes at the tone the younger was using. "You wish I was a palm tree, right?"

"No need," Ed started, shaking from trying not to laugh. "You already are one!"

The magical being glared daggers at the impudent human that started laughing at him, snarling furiously. "Let's just get to Central HQ already," he growled with more venom, disappearing once again into the depths of the lamp.

"Already on my way," the smaller stated, grinning as if he were proud of himself. "But what am I gonna do with that third wish…?"


	4. Curses and Blessings

**A/N:** Okay, now we're sure you guys are gonna like this chapter… X3 It contains more than one wish!! –beams delightedly –

On with the show…!

_Curses and Blessings_

Continuing his course, Ed continued to ponder about his last wish. After awhile, his gold eyes lit up and he rubbed the lamp. Of course, the "ever faithful" genie was out in an instant.

"Yes?"

"Envy," the smaller began in a serious voice, turning to fully face his companion. "I know what to wish for!"

Although Envy was a bit suspicious of the happy tone the younger was using, he was too preoccupied with the prospect of the final wish being made. "You do?" he asked with something like a smile on his face. You could almost hear the squeal of fangirls in the background at his expression.

"I wish I had seven more wishes!"

The poor genie jumped backward and gave the human before him a stunned look, almost as if he had just been electrically shocked. "What!?"

"You heard me," the younger stated happily, waving. "Now grant it!"

Glaring, he snapped his fingers and quickly proceeded to fold his arms with a _'huff'_. "Why make a wish like that, anyway…?"

"Well, I was thinking," Ed started, beginning to continue his trek. "Why waste my last wish on something pointless then never having any wishes left to get rid of it?"

"You should've wished for something pointless, then…" the other grumbled, glaring at the sidewalk under his feet. Amethyst eyes hardened when they noticed the shorter blonde shaking his head.

"But that's when I thought about making more wishes," he finished with a broad smile, looking sickeningly cheerful.

Envy sighed, looking both agitated and disappointed. "Sadly, you came to that…anyway, if you need me –"

"Wait!" the cloaked boy exclaimed without waiting for the other to finish his sentence, extending a hand in the "halt" position. "I have a question…what would happen if I wished for the Philosopher's Stone?"

Stiffening, the older of the pair looked away, horribly pretending not to have heard the question.

"Not gonna answer, huh?" the smaller began with a slight frown, making an action that looked like he was preparing to grab the genie's arm. "Then I wish you'd tell me!"

"Tch!" Envy flinched slightly, rolling his eyes toward the younger. "Dammit…if you wished for the Philosopher's Stone, it would erase all your remaining wishes. Happy now?" He glared at the gawking buffoon impatiently. "What?"

"You're joking…! But I have seven –"

"Six!"

"…six wishes left!"

"That's right, kid. Look, if you need me, preferably for _wishing_, just rub the lamp." With this said, he disappeared into the lamp.

The human boy nodded, making sure the lamp was secure inside the cloak's inner pocket. "Alright, time to get to HQ!" Continuing on his way, he slowed to a stop when he arrived at a grocery store. "Right…running low on groceries…" Giving a small sigh, he entered the store and began moving down the isles.

When he reached the dairy isle, he hurried along and accidentally rubbed against the lamp, thus summoning a rather impatient genie.

"So shopping to get taller, eh?" Envy asked rather smugly, suddenly smirking at the milk.

"I hate milk!" Ed growled, trying to just go on past the dairy section. "Damn traffic…!"

"You do?" A mischievous spark lit amethyst eyes, the smirk broadening into a grin. "Milk prevents shortness, Pipsqueak." He tried not to laugh at the indignant glare the smaller boy instantly gave him.

"Who're you calling Pipsqueak, you stupid palm tree!?" he yelled, plenty loud so that most everyone in the store easily heard him.

People in the same isle were muttering "He must be insane, there aren't any palm trees…" and giving him odd looks, obviously not being able to see the genie.

Suddenly, an announcement on the intercom stated, "Attention, shoppers! There's a pipsqueak in the Dairy Isle who thinks he's seeing palm trees. We advice you to take extra caution when going around him."

Ed continued fuming down the isle while Envy laughed openly, enjoying making his master angry. "Who's he calling a pipsqueak, stupid announcer who's too afraid to say it to my face…!!"

Looking down the next isle, Envy noticed the long row of vegetables. Grinning, he pointed at the broccoli, "Broccoli's good for your muscles. Maybe they'll help with your height!"

Ed glared at the genie at first, but then smirked darkly as he himself picked up a piece of the vegetable. "Hey, you two look similar. Are you related?" He smiled at the almost instant glare he received from his servant.

After a bit, the genie lost interest in what was happening (and also ran out of "short" jokes that he could probably use with the assistance of food), so he disappeared into the lamp.

In the next isle, the cloaked boy noticed some food items he needed (or thought he needed) up on the higher shelves. So he got up to his tippy-toes, trying to reach them. A store worker came by, but because of the warning to be cautious around the Pipsqueak, he didn't bother assisting him and instead continued to walk on by. Getting agitated, he started waving his arms exaggeratedly and again accidentally rubbing the lamp with his cloak. Envy appeared behind the human, who was obviously unaware of what he had done. "Man, I wish I were taller…!"

A cruel smirk instantly materialized onto the genie's lips, knowing that it wasn't really an intended wish but too eager to get the wishes done and over with to care. Snapping his fingers, his younger master instantly shot up a few…feet?

Startled that his head was suddenly only a few inches below the ceiling, Ed looked around, gold eyes widening in surprise at the pleased expression on his servant's face. "What'd you do!?"

"Hey," Envy started with a slight chuckle, smiling brightly. "You wish, I grant. Those are the rules!"

"You…!" Ed was obviously _not_ pleased by the fact that he had been "tricked" out of a wish he could've used for something more useful. "How much taller did you make me?"

"Two feet," the genie snickered, barely holding to his upright posture.

His jaw dropped. "Two feet!?"

"Hey, at least you're not a pipsqueak anymore!" The dark-haired male was obviously still pleased with what he had done, mischief still gleaming in amethyst eyes.

"Who're you calling a pip…! Oh, right…hahah," the blonde laughed almost nervously, realizing he no longer needed to respond to that comment (as if he ever did).

"You know…if you had been drinking your milk, you wouldn't have had to make that wish."

"Who cares," the now much taller male stated, almost smiling at the fact he had wiped the smile off the genie's face. "Now I don't need to drink the disgusting stuff!"

Envy gave Ed a stern look before a serpentine grin spread on his face. "Well, you only have five wishes left," he reminded in an almost taunting voice, disappearing once again into the lamp.

Blinking, the blonde took the food items off the shelves, placed them in the cart, and proceeded to the check-out line (ignoring all the strange looks of the other shoppers).

The cashier looked up at him with a hint of relief in her posture. "Well…you're alright. At least you're not the pipsqueak who talks to invisible palm trees," she muttered as she took the money for the food. The blonde had to hold his nerve to keep from snapping at her, instead roughly taking his groceries and leaving the store.

"Hmmm…I wonder if I can wish for more wishes," he thought out loud, gold eyes unfocused on the sidewalk below him.

"Nope," Envy's voice wafted from the depths of the lamp, nearly causing the boy to jump.

"Ah?" Gold eyes migrated upward to the genie who had stationed himself on top of his head, sitting Indian style and still looking smug. "I can't?"

"Nope," he repeated, shaking his head once. "Once you make that wish, you can't make it again."

"You knew this and you didn't tell me!?"

"Hah, like I'd tell you something that would bind me to you longer than is necessary!" he retorted, looking almost evil. "C'mon, if I had told you, you would've wished for a hundred wishes, we both know you would have!"

Scoffing, Ed then pretended he didn't see nor feel the light-weight genie on his head, continuing down his path on the streets of Central.


	5. Jokes and Dreams

**A/N:** My turn again! Let's watch as the chaos unravels itself a little bit further… X)

_Jokes and Dreams_

Edward, having already dropped off his groceries at the apartment he was staying at, stepped through the doors of a large white building, paying little attention to the dark-green tapestry that hung over the front of the building. Walking down the hallway, he couldn't help but smirk at the stunned looks of the officers.

"Ed…?" A man with blonde hair and blue eyes (fully dressed in uniform) asked with slight uncertainty, looking the former Pipsqueak up and down. "That can't be you, can it?"

"Of course, Warrant Havoc," the cloaked boy answered, grinning broadly. "And don't be fooled –I'm not using any props." As proof, he moved his cloak to the side and pulled up a pant-leg, showing there weren't any stilts.

Havoc raised an eyebrow, pulling a cigar out of his jacket pocket. "Alright, then." He seemed to think there was something wrong with Ed's height, although he didn't voice it. "The Colonel's waiting for your report of the coalmines," he stated carelessly as he walked past the other blonde, sticking the death-stick between his lips and preparing to pull out a lighter.

"Okay," Ed stated with just as much carelessness, continuing on down the hall and waving to the passing officers. Reaching a set of doors at the end of the hall, he pushed the oak doors open and stepped in gallantly, standing proudly in front of the man who currently had his back to him at the other end of a rather large desk.

"Here I am, Colonel! Would you like to hear the report?"

"Yes," the man addressed as the Colonel responded, onyx eyes widening slightly soon after he turned around and took a look at the taller alchemist. "Uh…Ed?"

A slight wrinkle appeared between Ed's brows, the boy seeming not to like the tone his higher-up was using. "So you noticed?"

"Noticed what? That you're using stilts?" The Colonel laced his hands together and rested his chin on top of them, his expression one of stern boredom.

The younger laughed, doing the same as earlier to show he wasn't using stilts. "Nah-uh, guess again!"

The black-haired man raised an eyebrow, sitting upright suddenly with a serious look on his face. "Edward, you haven't been using drugs, have you?"

"Of course not!" the cloaked boy answered defensively, the tone and swiftness of the answer revealing alarm. "Do you honestly think that drugs would make a person taller overnight?" Gold eyes narrowed at the slight shrug of the older officer.

"I don't know," the older male answered with a slight shrug, seeming to have relaxed a little bit. "That's why I was asking." Taking a folded piece of paper that the younger handed to him, he added, "By the way, how's the weather up there?"

Ed glared at him, hands clenched into fists. "Enjoy the report," he growled as he turned around and stomped out of the room. Taking advantage of the fact no one was in the hallway at that particular moment, he held up his cloak and tapped on the spout.

"You'd better not be getting any ideas in there, Envy," he warned in a dark tone.

A cruel yet humorous laugh wafted out of the lamp with a slight echo, the somewhat dark tone making the human's spine shiver while the humor in it made him frown disapprovingly.

"Fullmetal?" a random officer said in a somewhat questioning tone, looking a little worried. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," the young alchemist answered with a slight sigh, beginning to walk on down the hall. "Just having a tiring morning…"

Meanwhile, inside the lamp, the ever-planning genie was grinning with delight, amethyst eyes glinting with the same emotion swirled with a touch of malice. _I always get my revenge, Edward…and more is soon to come._

–_**later that day –**_

Ed rolled onto his side, pulling the sheets over his shoulder and sighing sleepily. Even though the lights were still on, he evidently didn't care and was already asleep.

Envy stood near the bed, watching the slumbering child contemplatively. Amethyst eyes turned toward the lamp, then toward the clock that read _10:37 p.m._ with boredom. Leisurely strolling over to the bed, he leaned over him to look at his face. In a ghostly whisper, he called, "Edward…"

The boy moaned softly, one of his eyebrows twitching.

In the same haunting tone, but with a lightness that wasn't there before, the genie called again, "Edward…!"

Another soft moan, then a groggy response. "What…?"

"What are you dreaming about?"

"Dreaming…" Ed's voice faded for a brief moment, then came back more tiredly, "About beating Mustang's ass in an alchemy competition…"

Envy raised an eyebrow as he realized his master was still sleeping, a serpentine grin crossing his lips as he realized yet another one of the human's weaknesses. _So he sleep-talks, does he? Well, let's see what this does…_

The dark-clothed being asked more questions, and the human answered, each time sounding more and more groggy with each response. After a few hours, however, the magical manipulator had all the information he wanted and stepped away from the bed, leaning against the wall with a smug grin.

"This is gonna be fun, Edward," he whispered with a faint trace of a chuckle, amethyst eyes turning toward the boy who was still fast asleep. "I can already imagine your expression when I start talking to you in the morning…"


	6. Wishful Date

**A/N:** Okay, so here's the thing…apparently, for this chapter I thought we (Star and I) were gonna have something else happen first, but apparently I was confused (count on StarLightning to straighten things out! –huggles her –), so instead this random stage of events is gonna happen. Plus this one's pretty long, so hope you enjoy it, nonetheless!

_Wishful Date_

Ed, finally too tired to stay awake any longer, crashed his way into dreamland, despite what had happened that day.

Apparently, that morning Envy had subtly revealed to his master that he knew certain things about him that the human boy was sure he had never mentioned or even left any traces of, which made Ed a bit paranoid and extra cautious of what he did. And to let Envy know that he was aware, he didn't make a single wish that day, which turned the genie from a happy little boy to the grumpy teenage-like entity he was when they had first met.

But now that Ed was finally asleep again, Envy was standing over the bed, a small, almost unnoticeable smirk on his face. Watching him a few minutes to ensure the young alchemist was asleep, the servant whispered in the same haunting tone as before, "Edward…"

This time, instead of moaning, the human gave an almost instant albeit distant-voiced response. "What…?"

_So he's really asleep,_ the genie thought, a smug expression on his face. Amethyst eyes sparkled as a question he hadn't asked yet came to his mind. "Edward…do you have a girlfriend?"

A sound faintly resembling a snort answered the question, the boy wrinkling his nose very slightly. "Don't want one," he answered verbally, rolling over so that his back was to his manipulator. After awhile, however, he added, "Winrey…"

Envy raised a slender brow, already knowing that even in sleep the former Pipsqueak would give his usual response before answering truthfully. "Winrey? Who's she?"

"My…" A small snore, then the slumbering child finished, "Automail mechanic…"

A subtle nod, then another question. "What's her number?" His eyes were already sparking mischievously even before the boy started answering the question.

"832…5…" His voice faded a bit, then a random outburst of "Must destroy Mustang" before finishing the number sequence. "6421…"

The genie grinned broadly, an idea already sparking in his mind. _Perfect_, he thought, inching away from the bed before going to the phone (which, conveniently, was just outside the room out in the hallway). Dialing in the number, he waited 'till an answer came.

"Hello?" Answered a girl's voice, which was only faintly curious. "Rockbell's residence."

Amethyst eyes turning to gold, Envy answered in a voice that resembled Ed's exactly, "Hey, Winrey? It…it's me."

"Ed?" A small gasp from the other end, then a scolding voice started, "You didn't break your automail again, did you?"

"N-No, it's fine," the imposter answered quickly, forcing himself to stutter slightly like he was sure his master actually would when faced with such a question. "Listen, Winrey, I…" He made sure to let his voice trail for an instant, almost grinning when he heard the suspense building up on Winrey's end.

"Yes, Ed?"

He could've snickered at the almost worried tone she was using, proud of his acting skills. Quickly regaining his composure, he continued in a shaky tone, "Winrey, I…I know I've been too proud to admit my feelings, but…"

"Ed…?"

Acting as if he were rushing and stumbling, the genie finished, "Winrey, would you go on a date with me tomorrow?" Playful gold eyes laughed when he heard a _'thump'_ meaning that she had dropped the phone. _Heh, this is almost too easy…_ "Winrey…hey, Winrey? Are you there?" A slight fumble, then the girl's answer.

"Y-Yes, Ed, I'd very much like to go on a date with you." A small chuckle, then she added, "Goodness, Ed, you don't need to feel so nervous!"

Still using Ed's voice, Envy laughed nervously, leaning against the wall like he was enjoying himself. "I suppose I shouldn't…well, see ya tomorrow!"

"See ya!" she responded cheerfully.

The imposter put down the phone and leisurely walked back into the room, noticing the time on the clock. "Oh lookie," he said in a somewhat mocking voice, using his own instead of his master's. "It's almost time for Master to get up. I think I'll be a little nice and fix him some breakfast," he added coolly, looking over at the slumbering child before once again exiting the room.

Ed began to stir, smelling the bacon and eggs that were on the way. He sat up instantly when he saw his servant come into the room with a plate piled with the delicious stuff (along with a glass of orange juice). Instantly shoving food down his throat, he was hardly aware of the smug look on Envy's face 'till he had finished every last bite. But when he finally did notice, he instantly looked slightly scared.

"Envy," he said the name slowly, sounding as if he were treading on territory he'd rather not be on. "You're up to something again."

"What gave you that idea?" the genie asked curiously, trying to at least force down most of his excitement but leaving just enough to give his master some form of an answer to his hypothesis.

Leaping out of bed and grabbing the somewhat shorter male, he said warningly, "You're up to something again, just like yesterday. This time, I'm really gonna find out what it is!"

"Aww," he cooed, feigning hurt, "I make you breakfast without being told to and this is the thanks I get?"

Realizing his position in the issue, the alchemist let go of the alternate entity. "Alright…but I'm still keeping an eye on you." Heading toward the closet, he hesitated when he heard Envy's voice begin:

"Oh, by the way, you have a date with someone really special today!"

Twirling around, gold eyes wide in startled surprise, he demanded, "A date? With who!?"

"Your automail mechanic," the other male answered, tilting his head as if struggling to remember her name. "By the name of…Winrey Rockbell? Anyway, you'd better get yourself ready by six tonight at latest."

"By six at latest?" Gold eyes grew wider, every muscle seeming to be straining against unleashing an attack, Ed demanded angrily, "You didn't set a time!?"

"Nor the place where to have the date," the genie answered in a tone that suggested there was nothing wrong with his method. "She just said she'd come by to pick you up later today."

"Agh!!" growled the former Pipsqueak, pulling at his gold hair in frustration. "That's not how a date should go –the guy has to pick up the date, not the other way around!" Turning around suddenly, he asked in a frightened voice, "Who knows what horrors await me when she's put in charge of a date…!"

Envy chuckled in amusement, leaning back against a wall and watching his younger master with a grin. It almost faltered and a slender eyebrow raised as the familiar look of "I have an idea for a wish" expression came upon the human's face. "What's the wish this time?"

Ed's smile broadening, he exclaimed, "I wish you were me for a day!" He almost started laughing at the expression of his servant, watching in fascination as a white ring appeared at the other's feet and crawled its way to the crown of his head, smiling at how complete the transformation was.

The other male, however, didn't look pleased at all. In fact, he was glowering hatefully. "This is _not_ what I wanted to have happen," he muttered almost incoherently, turning his head away.

"Hey, cheer up!" The original patted the duplicate's shoulder, grinning like a kid in a candy shop. "You get to go on a date with Winrey!"

"Unfortunately…" His expression of hate turned into one of dread as gold flashed amethyst for a split second. "But…the lamp…"

Hearing an undertone he had never heard in the other male's voice, Ed took off the grin and adopted a less playful smirk. "What about it?"

"If I go too far away from it…" Instead of finishing, he gave a subtle shudder, the fear in his eyes telling the other all he needed to know.

"Hmm…" After a moment, he snapped his fingers. "I know! I'll follow you two around with the lamp, that way nothing bad will happen to you."

Envy gave Ed a disbelieving look. "Right, how're you gonna do that? Disguise yourself as an old man?"

"Exactly!" The human's playful expression changed to a frown when the genie doubled over giggling hysterically. "Hey, don't laugh –you're the one who set up this date and you're going through with it." The other male went silent instantly. "Besides, we don't want Winrey recognizing me and start thinking something's up, do we?"

Although he had a slightly confused look on his face, Envy shook his head. "No, but…"

"But what?"

"Nothing…" he muttered, looking away with something relating to a frown on his face.

Ed tilted his head, looking at the clock contemplatively. "Well…since today's Saturday, I won't send you to work. But I do expect you to do more for me than just be my stand-in for tonight's date."

Doppelganger gold eyes widened very slightly, anger flashing in them. "Fff…! This is not gonna be a pleasant day…"

–_**later that day –**_

The clock read _6 p.m._ when the real Ed stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in a heavy-looking suit, wearing sunglasses and a dark brown beard. He also wore a hat on his head similar to a cowboy's and it looked like he had dyed his hair brown besides. Lowering the glasses a little to give his genie a glare, he said, "I told you not to laugh. Now I'm going to get your lamp –" he walked over to where his cloak was, removed the lamp from the inner pocket and hit the item carefully in the coat's inner pocket –"and I'm gonna wait near the door so I can follow you two when she comes over."

Nodding, Envy in the form of Ed turned toward the door that lead to the hallway when the desk manager knocked.

"Mr. Elric?" The dark-haired man looked the imposter up and down with light-green eyes, adjusting his glasses when he was done and turning toward the front of the building. "A Mrs. Winrey Rockbell is here for you." Nodding to each other, the doppelganger followed the man to the front of the apartment where a blonde-haired blue-eyed girl sat waiting.

"Hey there…boyfriend," she greeted, smiling playfully and winking at Envy. She suddenly paused, stood up and walked over to the two males. "Ed? Did you really grow that much?" A delighted smile instantly rose to her lips soon after a look of shock disappeared when her raised a pant-leg showing no stilts. "Wow…!"

"Always glad to make you happy," Envy said in a false gentle tone, smiling sweetly. The real Ed, who had hidden himself behind the counter, looked disgusted by the tone his replacement was using. "So…are we ready to get going?"

"My, aren't you excited about this date!"

"So excited I could hardly sleep last night!" the now taller blonde retorted, beaming as he walked by her side, playing as her chauffeur and opening the door for her.

From his hiding spot, Ed mumbled almost angrily, "So not true…"

Walking out onto the streets, Winrey asked casually, "So…you been drinking your milk?"

"You know I hate milk," the doppelganger answered, deciding not to act too out-of-character and wrinkling his nose distastefully.

She looked up at him with an expression that said she was expecting that answer, a sudden spark in her eye that caught the taller male's attention almost instantly. "Any drugs lately?"

"I don't do drugs!" Envy answered sharply, hoping it wasn't too sharp a tone than what his master probably would use. "I grow normally like normal people."

"So you grew overnight, huh?" the blonde female asked, giving him a weird look as she looked him up and down.

"Yep."

Sticking out her lower lip but not exactly pouting, she gave a small hum. "Oh well...let's get on with our date!" Suddenly seeming delighted, she grabbed his hand and pulled him on down the street, seeming to be in a hurry.

"Where's the date gonna be, by the way?" Envy asked, genuinely curious as to the location of the date.

"To a restaurant," she answered, smiling mischievously.

_Oh, how vague…_ "Great, 'cause I'm hungry!"

She laughed, slowing down enough for them to walk side-by-side. "Figures…you've always loved food."

On their way to the restaurant, Envy constantly looked behind him to make sure the real Ed was following. He got a little frightened when he felt a tightness on his wrists and around his abdomen once when the original disappeared from sight, but beyond that the genie was assured he would be alright.

Finally arriving at the restaurant, the ever polite "young man" opened the door for his date, pointing to the side of the building to direct Ed on where to hide, and followed her inside.

Obeying the subtle command, Ed hid himself on the side of the building just under a large window showing where the false couple were going to sit. Noticing he was next to a random palm tree that happened to be there, he muttered with a small smile, "Well…at least you're not as bad as Envy."

Before finding a table, a waiter walked to the couple, looking at the both of them expectantly.

"Table for two, please," Winrey chirped, holding up two fingers for whatever reason.

"This way, please," the waiter responded, leading them to a table right next to the window Ed was hiding under. "Wait just a minute while I get your menus."

While the dark-haired waiter strolled off, Envy pulled out a chair for Winrey before she could take another step toward the table. Grinning when she thanked him, he proceeded to the other end of the table and seated himself. The waiter came back, handed them each a menu, and departed thus (again telling them he'd be back a little later).

"How about we order…spaghetti?" the blonde female suggested, smiling over at her date.

The stand-in thought for a second before shaking his head. "Naw, you go ahead with that, though. I'll have a pizza instead."

"Trying out the new dish, aren't ya?" she asked teasingly, putting down her menu and beaming sickeningly.

"Have you decided on your drinks?" asked the waiter out of nowhere, nearly causing the couple to jump in surprise.

"Ah…I'll have a Pepsi."

Envy raised an eyebrow at her, smirking. "Daring, aren't we? I'll have the same," he told the waiter, giving him a patient look while sitting way back in his chair.

"Well, you're trying out a new item," she started, trying to "defend" herself, "So I thought I'd do the same."

The smirk growing wider, he laced his fingers behind his head. _Heh, she's not so bad…don't know what Master was getting all upset for._

After awhile, the waiter returned with their drinks. "Have you decided on what to eat?"

"Ed'll have the pizza and I'll have the spaghetti," the only female in the situation answered almost automatically, smiling at both males.

Nodding, the somewhat tallish male took back the menus and strolled off.

Around this time, the real Ed had decided he didn't like being outside where he couldn't hear the conversation, she he snuck in through the back doors, grabbed a menu and sat at a table that wasn't too far so he couldn't hear yet not too close that he was very noticeable. Propping up his menu, he lowered the sunglasses so he could look over to where his date and servant were seated, watching their every movement (or, at least, as much as he could).

"Oh Ed," Winrey started, leaning forward on the table. "This is so nice…I can't believe we're actually going on a date!"

"Neither can I," Envy responded with a small smile, sitting up properly in his chair and sipping on his drink. _Hmmm…refreshing._

After a short span of time, the waiter came back with their food. "Enjoy," he said with a small bow, leaving just as the two "youngsters" began to eat.

"Oh, this is so good!" Already, there was a lot of meat sauce around her mouth, though she didn't seem to notice whatsoever. "But not as good as making automail, of course." Winrey then, while eating her spaghetti, began talking about automail. But her narrative quickly became a novel and Envy quit listening.

_Scratch that: she's every bit as bad ad Master made her out to be._ About part-way through her speech about how great automail was, the doppelganger noticed Ed out of the corner of his eye and shook his fist at him underneath the table so that the female wouldn't notice, almost glared loathfuly when he realized the other was laughing. _I'm getting you back for this…_ A few more minutes, and Envy began thinking _Gagh, will she _ever_ stop…?_ Instead of listening back in, he just nibbled on his pizza.

"…and that's why automail's so cool!" she finally concluded, smiling happily (although the genie found it obnoxious).

_Thank God, it's finally over!_ he thought in relief, shoulders sagging very faintly.

"So what did you think, Ed?"

"…it was interesting…" he answered boredly with a small hint of sarcasm, taking a few more sips of his drink.

Winrey rolled her eyes. "Just like you to only care enough to maintain your automail by yourself, then when it's damaged you come crying to me." Shrugging, she stood up and walked around the table to her date. "Oh well, let's just head out to our next destination!" Leaving the bill and a tab for the waiter in separate piles, she grabbed the genie's hand and pulled him to his feet and out the door. The teenage boy in disguise quickly followed, though he stayed far back far enough so that she wouldn't notice.

"So…" Envy drawled, no longer acting like Ed. "Where are we going now?"

"Why," the human girl giggled, pointing to an outline of a Ferris wheel in the distance, "To the carnival, of course!" Pulling harder, she commanded, "Let's go, Ed!"

"But…!" Try as he might, he couldn't escape the vice-like grip of the teenage girl he was now dating. Eventually, he just trudged along behind her, glaring at Ed when he heard the other male snickering.

"Oh, Ed!" she squealed when they entered carnival grounds, smiling at a nearby roller-coaster. "You're finally tall enough to ride it!"

"Har, har…" Rolling gold eyes, Envy followed grudgingly to the starting line. "How great…" When they arrived at the height meter, he almost smirked at the fact he was at least two feet taller than the requirement labeled.

"Wow…you _really_ got tall," she mumbled thoughtfully, looking between her date and the label. A flicker of suspicion lit her azure eyes, but was quickly put away.

The woman in charge of operating the roller-coaster looked up at him in slight surprise. "Wow…really tall, aren't you?" Opening the small gate, she let them pass through. "Just make sure you're fastened in, alright? Don't want you to fall out or anything."

Raising an eyebrow, the tallest of the pair asked, "Hey, don't we need tickets?"

"Not this one," Winrey chirped, sitting herself near the front and patting the seat next to her. "Aw, c'mon, Ed. It'll be fun, promise!"

The teenager in disguise watched as the coaster slowly began to climb up the mountain of wood and metal, muttering under his breath, "Boy, I'm glad I don't have to get on that thing…"

Nearing the top, the blonde female playfully asked her date, "So how's the weather up there?"

"I'm just tall," Envy began to answer almost impatiently, frowning very slightly. "That doesn't automatically make me a meteorologist."

"Alright, Ed," she responded cautiously, holding back the urge to roll her eyes. "Calm down."

Just that moment the coaster plunged and Envy clapped his hands over his ears, trying to block the sound of Winrey and several other people screaming. When the ride was over, the all-too-eager genie leapt out, wobbled for a brief second, then turned back around to help a very dizzy-looking teenage girl out of her seat.

"Roller-coasters are fun," she mumbled wistfully, leaning against her date as they exited the coaster area.

"Yeah…not going on that again," the doppelganger responded bluntly, not even bothering to cover up the distasteful note in his voice.

Instantly perking up, the human squealed, "Let's go on another one!"

Gold eyes widening, Envy begged, "Please, don't make me go on another ride…!"

Her shoulders sagged in disappointment. "Fine…then let's go to the next place I have planned."

"…and what's that?" he asked nervously, looking at her cautiously.

She just beamed up at him. "It's a surprise! But you'll _love_ it!" Grabbing his hand, she once again proceeded to start dragging the poor genie off carnival grounds and on to the next destination.

Ed smirked, following not too far behind the two. "I wonder what the next place might be," he thought out loud, snickering as an idea crept into his mind. "Oh man, I can't wait to find out…!"


	7. Karaoke

**A/N:** My turn again! Boy, this is gonna be fun…

_Karaoke_

The teenage boy dressed up as an old man started snickering like mad when the blonde young girl dragged her date to a building that was famous for its dances and karaoke parties, fully realizing what was soon to happen. "This is gonna be too fun to watch," she giggled, following the pair inside the building and taking a seat at a random chair on the outside of the room.

Envy, looking around with wide eyes, shuddered faintly and scooted closer to Winrey, suddenly feeling the inclination to seek her protection from the other partygoers. "Eh, Winrey…are you sure it's safe to be here?"

She gave the doppelganger a strange, almost indignant look. "You hang around a bunch of bar thugs and you're worried about these people who want nothing more than to have fun?" Rolling her eyes, she growled with an undertone of playfulness "Boys…"

He blinked at her in mild surprise. _Huh, I don't remember Master telling me about hanging with drunkards…I'll hafta ask him next time he starts sleep-talking._

The blue-eyed blonde stopped dragging her unfortunate date when a certain song started playing. Smiling brightly, she squealed, "Oh my gosh, the Caramel Dance!" Grabbing his hands, she asked excitedly, "Can we?"

Looking disturbed for a brief second, he then noticed where Ed was and smirked mischievously. "Sure…if he joins in," he answered, pointing in his master's direction.

Winrey smiled, until she followed his finger and noticed he was pointing at someone wearing a heavy-looking suit, a large hat like what you see in Western movies, sunglasses, and had a dark-brown beard. "Ah? Why do you want to invite an old man to do the dance?"

"C'mon," Envy said in a persuasive tone, leaning close to her face while keeping his eyes trained on the disguised figure. "I know this guy, he _loves_ the Caramel Dance. And it looks like he hasn't drunken anything yet, so don't worry about him making any inappropriate gestures."

Azure eyes peered at doppelganger gold ones for a moment before turning toward the strange figure. "Well, if it'll get you to dance… Hey, you there!"

Ed, realizing what had happened, suddenly tried making a dash to the door. The genie beat him, though, and was grinning at him almost mockingly. "Why!?" he whispered fiercely, preparing to force his servant up against the wall right next to the door.

"As if you don't know," the other male answered with a smug tone, smiling with feigned innocence. "Now get on over there, Winrey wants you to join us!"

"Grr…" Letting the other go, the original Ed grudgingly made his way over to the blonde girl at the center of the room. "You're so not funny…"

"Yay, you came over!" she chirped, patting the former Pipsqueak's shoulder playfully as she began to start "dancing". "C'mon, join in!"

"We know you want to!" Envy goaded in a sing-song voice, also participating in the dance.

Leaning toward the doppelganger, the original muttered, "You're a total disgrace…"

"Yeah? So are you, Pipsqueak…!" He chuckled at the glare from his master, girlishly prancing around his date who began to giggle at his display.

"I never thought I'd ever see you get so hyped up for a dance!"

"Apparently you don't know me very well," he answered with a bright smile, patting her on the head as he pranced on by.

They continued the Caramel Dance until the music stopped, in which the Karaoke Party was soon to start.

"C'mon!" Winrey urged, pulling her date to the front where the DJ was sorting through the many disks he had. "Boy, I love technology…it's advancing so quickly! Last year this sort of technology didn't even exist!" She went starry-eyed over the music-mixer, carefully observing the detail of each button and switch. Envy just rolled his eyes at it.

"Yeah, totally fabulous…"

"You don't need to sound so bored," she grumbled, frowning at him. When she realized she had the DJ's attention, she straightened up her posture and smiled. "Yeah, can we have two songs for us to sing?"

The DJ, a teenage boy with blonde, almost wavy hair and azure eyes, suddenly seemed to actually be interested. "You mean like a duo-type thing?" His expression fell when she shook her head, again sorting through the disks. "Darn…which ones would you two like?"

Envy was about to open his mouth for a request when his date beat him to it.

"I wanna do 'Teardrops on My Guitar'," she told him, smiling sheepishly up at the genie. It quickly changed to one of mischief when she added, "Eddie here'll pick out a song by All American Rejects."

"I never agreed to this…" the taller male mumbled, glaring at her half-heartedly. Sighing, he asked, "Do you have 'Dirty Little Secret'?"

"Yep," the DJ answered, pulling out a red disk with black lettering. "We got both of 'em, only because they're so damn popular."

"Thanks, Russel!" she chirped, heading toward the stage that was conveniently close to the DJ. "Knew I could count on you!"

The boy now addressed as Russel snorted. "Yeah, whatever…"

Envy only raised an eyebrow at the lack of enthusiasm from the blonde boy, not having very long to give any thought to him as he suddenly found himself already standing up on stage.

"You're going first," Winrey whispered, leaping off the stage and somehow landing gracefully to the side. She only smiled at his almost baffled expression, tossing the microphone to him. "Dazzle us with that voice of yours!"

_Alright,_ he thought challengingly, smirking only slightly as he walked closer to the edge. _If that's what you really want._ Waiting for the music, he began to slowly pace on the stage, abruptly freezing and facing the audience when his lines began:

_"Tell me all that I've done wrong  
__When I've known this all along  
__I go around a time or two  
__Just to waste my time with you…"_

He could've started laughing at the awed expression on his date's face, glad he managed to catch her by surprise. _Heh, guess she wasn't expecting my voice to be this rich,_ he thought, mentally thinking that he made his voice like dark chocolate: sweet but not quite like milk chocolate…unique, which perfectly described himself, he thought. Waving his arm slowly toward the audience, he continued:

_"Tell me all that you've thrown away  
__Find out games you don't wanna play  
__You are the only one that needs to know…"_

Jabbing a finger at Ed, he sang:

_"I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
__Don't tell anyone or you'll just be just another regret  
__Hope that you can keep my  
__My dirty little secret  
__Who has to know?"_

He resumed pacing the stage, waving his hands as if explaining something to a class:

_"When we live such fragile lives  
__It's the best way we survive  
__I come around a time or two  
__Just to waste my time with you…_

_Tell me all that you've thrown away  
__Find out games you don't wanna play  
__You are the only one that needs to know…"_

Instead of pointing to Ed, this time he gave Winrey a glance and a small, almost evil smirk.

_"I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
__Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
__Hope that you can keep my  
__My dirty little secret  
__Who has to know?"_

Suddenly changing from almost playful to desperate and guilty, he continued:

_"The way she feels inside  
__These thoughts I can't deny  
__These sleeping dogs won't lie  
__And all I've tried to hide  
__It's eating me apart  
__Trace this line back…!"_

Taking a few steps away from the edge of the stage, pretending to play an electric guitar, he abruptly leapt to the front, leaning over as if to utter something conspiratorially:

_"I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret…"_

Standing up straight, he sang in a much louder voice:

_"I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
__Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
__Hope that you can keep my  
__My dirty little secret  
__Dirty little secret  
__Dirty little secret  
__Who has to know?  
__Who has to know…?"_

Taking a bow even before the music was fully finished, he walked off as the music faded off. Smiling at the amazed look of his date, the genie asked curiously, "What?"

"You…" Winrey hugged Envy suddenly, giving him a squeeze before letting go. "You were amazing! I never thought you had a voice like that…!"

"I am amazing, aren't I?" he asked boastfully, taking a mocking heroic pose, fingers on his puffed-out chest and a smug smile on his face. His smile grew when she laughed at his silly display, patting his arm as she made her way to the stage.

The pretty blonde put on a somber expression as her song began:

_"Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see  
__That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be  
__I bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about  
__And she's got everything that I have to live without…!_

_Drew talks to be, I laugh 'cause it's so funny  
__That I can't even see anyone when he's with me  
__He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right  
__I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night…"_

Envy watched in awed reverence as Winrey sang with an undertone of true despair, suddenly wondering how long the pretty blonde girl had been in love with the State Alchemist Edward Elric.

_"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
__The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do…_

_Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?  
__And there he goes, so perfectly  
__The kind of flawless I wish I could be  
__She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love  
__Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause…!_

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
__The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do…_

_So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light  
__I'll put his picture down and maybe  
__Get some sleep tonight…!_

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
__The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do  
__He's the time taken up, but there's never enough  
__And he's all that I need to fall into…"_

Pretty azure eyes turned toward doppelganger gold ones, so much hope in them it was sickening to the genie.

_"Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see…"_

Taking a small bow, she slowly walked off the stage and to the arms of the almost unwilling date. "I'm ready to go, now, Ed…"

Envy just held her, looking down at her and noticing how drained she suddenly looked. "I'll take you home, then…" He walked her out of the building, where the cold night air seemed to wake her up (though it didn't do anything to the magical being). "You okay…?"

Winrey just smiled up at him, looking happy and tired at the same time. "Yeah, I-I'm fine…" Leaning against him further, she whispered, "This was the best date ever…"

_You just poured out your soul,_ he thought in a matter-of-factly manner, rubbing her shoulder for the sake of doing it. _Of course you love it._

"Well…" Clearing her throat, the human girl suddenly walked out of his arms and out onto the sidewalk. "I'd better get going, then…"

Feeling generous, Envy offered, "If you want, you can stay overnight."

"No thanks, Grandma's probably worried," she answered, waving over her shoulder with a happy smile. "Thanks for inviting me on a date, Ed!"

Waving back, he watched her go before going on down to the apartment the real Ed currently lived. Doppelganger gold eyes turned toward the real deal when the other male came up to him.

"Wow, wasn't expecting that," Ed said, lowering the sunglasses so he could see the now much darker streets better. "That wasn't your real singing voice, was it…?"

"You wound me, Master," the genie answered, feigning hurt again.

The human raised his eyebrow at the servant. "Since when did you start calling me Master?"

"Wasn't I always calling you that?" Envy answered calmly, looking at him expectantly.

Ed shook his head, walking out ahead of the other male. "Forget I asked…let's just get home so I can get to sleep."

Nodding, the doppelganger thought mischievously, _And tonight we talk again…_


	8. Final Turn

**A/N:** Wow…this story went by fast O.o Oh, I'm not saying this is the last chapter…it isn't. But we're dangerously close to finishing (somehow I thought this one would be longer…) Plus some parts are kinda angsty… So…enjoy! We hope…

_Final Turn_

The door swung open, allowing two figures to step into the room. Instantly, Ed threw off the beard and hat, ruffled his hair to make all the powder come out, and tossed off the jacket. "Stay there," he ordered Envy, going into the bathroom to get changed…again.

Shrugging, the doppelganger sat down on the bed, looking down boredly at the dresser near the head of the bed. Watching the clock, he knew for sure he only waited for about three minutes before his master came back out of the bathroom. Noticing the other male waving for him to get off the bed, he shrugged again and walked over to the other end of the room.

Sitting down, the original stated seriously, "Now Envy, no more of this trying to set me up on dates. Got it?" He stared at his servant warningly, gold eyes narrowed.

The other male just smirked as a ring materialized at his feet, climbing up to the crown of his head and thus transforming him back to his original form. "I already got you a girlfriend," he sneered in an awkward, playful tone, crossing his arms and swinging one leg over the other. "And since I can't be you anymore, so you're the one to be going on dates with Winrey for now on."

Ed gave him a similar look, this one being laced with anger instead of smug playfulness. "We'll see about that," he muttered, laying down on the bed. Closing his eyes, he was soon on his side and fast asleep.

The genie watched him contemplatively, amethyst eyes somewhat distant in thought. "Hmm…" He strolled over to the bed, seeming to be coming to a decision. _Wonder what information I can get out of him this time,_ he thought, beginning to lean over the slumbering child. The older male stayed in the position for several hours, waiting for his chance. He froze when the younger moaned softly and shuddered slightly. _Should I…?_

"Al…" the blonde muttered, one of his hands twitching as if he were flipping through the pages of a book. "We can do this, Al…I know we can…"

Slender brows raised, amethyst eyes glossy in pure curiosity. The genie already knew his master had a younger brother by the name of Alphonse, but he had never really seen him. Apparently, the younger of the brothers was staying with some friends while Ed worked, though it was obvious that for a while they had worked together even though Ed was the only one with an Alchemist License. He leaned forward ever so slightly, eager to hear more out of his master's dream.

"We'll get Mom back, Al…just need to use the right alchemic equation…" The human then began naming off the chemistry of the adult human body, hands moving as if he were moving around books and other equipment. "Equivalent exchange…"

Envy watched curiously as his master continued naming off ingredients, wondering if he was dreaming about his past or if it were another illusion like his dream of defeating his higher officer Colonel Mustang. _Whichever it is, this is apparently more important to him than all his other dreams…_

"Al…?" Ed shuddered slightly, his whimpering tone instantly alerting the genie that the situation was turning bad. "Al…no…!" His face contorted in pain, one of his hands reaching down to his left leg.

The dark-haired make frowned very slightly at this. _His automail leg…?_

"Mom…?"

Suddenly feeling nervous, the older had the inclination to wake his master from his nightmare, but at the same time he wanted to know more, so he left the younger be.

"This…this wasn't how it was supposed to happen…!" The blonde began to curl into a ball, trembling. "It's all my fault…"

Feeling guilty for listening in all of a sudden, he prepared to shake the other male when the younger whimpered, "Al…I wish you had your body back…!"

He froze, slender hands hovering above the young master's shoulder in indecision. Amethyst eyes narrowing, he gave a small sigh as he granted the wish. It wasn't the fact that it was an unintended wish that bothered the genie, but more that the alchemic law of equivalent exchange had to be made, and it made the genie feel even more guilty.

Ed woke up with a start, finding himself in a suit of armor instead of his proper body. Shaking in horror, he turned on Envy. "What the hell did you do!?"

"You know the rules, Master," Envy responded carefully, grinning nervously. "You wish, I grant."

Trembling in anger, the other roared, "I didn't make any wishes!"

"In your sleep…" His grin faltered and shrank to a small, humorless smirk, the guilt he was feeling clearly evident on his face.

Ed froze, slowly sat back on the bed. Clearly he was too shaken up to realize that the genie didn't grant the wish for fun. "Oh god…" Grabbing his servant with renewed anger, he commanded, "I wish I had my body back!" He once again froze when the other male stated in a monotone voice:

"Equivalent exchange."

The younger slowly looked down at hands that weren't truly his, jerking his head back up as he again commanded, "Trade this suit of armor!"

Envy slowly shook his head, a sad, almost disappointed look on his face. "Master, that isn't equivalent exchange…"

"I don't care!" the other roared, nearly crushing his servant's arms. "Just do it!"

Sagging in defeat, the genie granted the wish. Amethyst eyes cautiously watched the young master to make sure he was alright, noticing that he was still trembling from shock. "You should rest…"

Nodding absentmindedly, the blonde laid himself down on the bed, but instead of quickly falling asleep he lay there staring at the wall. It took a few hours before he was calm enough to fall asleep, and since Envy was feeling guilty anyway, he let his master sleep in.

_That suit of armor must've belonged to his brother,_ Envy thought, knowing the law of equivalent exchange as well as any professional alchemist. Suddenly feeling tired, though he didn't know why, he disappeared into the lamp, ready to come out if his master needed anything.

When the clock struck _8:30 a.m._ there was a loud knock on the door, which made Ed jump awake in surprise.

"Who would come over this early in the morning?" he growled irritably, not even bothering to look at the clock. Still looking exhausted, he got up out of bed and answered the door. His eyes widened in shock when they saw who was just outside the room.

The visitor was a boy that looked near identical to Ed, except he wore completely different clothes, some of his facial features where different, and his hair was still short. But it was obvious who he was, even before he exclaimed "Brother!" Leaning forward excitedly, Alphonse began, "You won't believe this –last night I wished on a shooting star and early this morning I got my body back!"

The older brother stood there for a minute with his jaw hanging open. Shaking his head once, he said slowly, "Al…uh, just a minute…" Closing the door, he proceeded to take the lamp out of the old jacket and ran into the bathroom, locking the door. Rubbing the lamp, he gave his very sober-looking genie a serious look. "What did you do? My brother has his body back!" He practically yelled the last sentence, grabbing his now seemingly-taller genie by the shoulders.

Envy's expression didn't change. "You remember what happened last night, don't you?"

Ed quickly let go, a shocked expression on his face. "You mean…that suit of armor I was in…?" He fell quiet after his servant shook his head, lowering his gaze. "Envy," he began quietly, not looking back up at the other male. "What did I wish for last night?"

"In your sleep," the genie began carefully, looking a bit uncomfortable. "You wished for your brother's body back…" Hearing his master mutter something along the lines of "Must've been dreaming about the past again", he asked gently, "Master, what exactly happened back then…?" He didn't bother trying to hide the concern he felt for the human, his old sentiments toward the race returning to him after almost 400 years.

The young child slowly sat on a box that was conveniently right behind him, though he remained silent.

"Master…?"

Gold eyes quickly turned up to amethyst ones in slight surprise. "Oh…okay, I'll tell you…" Looking down again, he began, "When Al and I were little, we lived in a little village called Risenbul with our mother. We started learning alchemy, because it made Mother happy to see us use it. One day, we found out she was seriously ill…but by the time we realized this, it was too late…" He paused, swallowing almost painfully. "So we…we found ourselves a teacher, so we learned more alchemy. When I was ten and him nine, we decided we were ready to try it…Human Transmutation, the taboo of alchemy."

Envy sat on the lid of the toilet that was directly across from where his master sat, amethyst eyes widening in surprise and alarm. "Did it work…?"

A sad frown adorned his otherwise handsome face as he slowly shook his head. "It was a complete failure…Al lost his entire body, and I only lost my left leg." He carefully rubbed his automail leg, looking at it ruefully. "Even with all of that, we couldn't bring her back…"

The genie nodded solemnly. "And your arm…?"

"Gave it up to bring back my brother's soul," the blonde answered, raising his right arm. "Then I affixed it to a suit of armor so he wouldn't be sucked back through The Gates." Gold eyes turned up to amethyst ones, serious and determined. "That's why I was looking for information on the Philosopher's Stone…back when I found your lamp instead."

"…I see." Envy straightened in alarm when a murderously angry look came upon his master's face, thinking that he had something wrong. "Master…?"

"It's not you," Ed retorted instantly, yanking his gaze away from his servant. "It's my father…" Without waiting for the genie to say anything, he growled, "That traitor left before Mother died and didn't even come back for her funeral! He made her cry at night…I hate him!"

A look of darkness came over the other male's face, as well, his thoughts turning to his own father. "So you had problems with your father, too…?" he asked in an eerily calm voice, his own gaze falling to the floor.

The younger looked at the older in a more calm way. "What happened?"

"He's the reason…" His voice trailed off as he looked at the lamp in his master's hands with utter distaste and bitterness. "He's the reason why I'm like this!" he growled, extending his arms to show the bracelets on his wrists, but the way he did it it almost looked like he were in handcuffs.

Gold eyes widened in surprise, the human sitting up in alarm. "Your father did this to you!? Why!?"

A cold, angry smirk slipped onto Envy's lips, amethyst eyes dark. "Peh…he wanted me to hate humans." A regretful expression arose as he continued, "It almost worked, except…" Again, his voice trailed off, calmer amethyst eyes looking directly at gold ones.

"Ah…" Ed shook his head slowly. "I can't believe your father…" Instead of finishing his sentence, he completely changed the subject by stating, "Well, it seems I have two wishes left, and I only have one thing to do."

"What's that?" the genie asked curiously, tilting his head like a toddler.

"I'm going to break up with Winrey…"

The older male straightened in surprise, looking at the younger in the same reaction. "What? But why?"

"'Cause," he began to answer, leaning back a little and lacing his fingers around his left knee.. "I don't want a girlfriend…"

"Then you're just gonna leave the girl heartbroken!?" He gaped at his master, clearly not expecting him to do anything like this.

"Oh don't worry, I'll find someone else for her," the blonde responded, cautiously adding, "Someday…"

Envy thought for a moment before a mischievous smirk materialized onto his lips. "I think I know just the guy…"

Ed leaned forward expectantly, clearly interested. "Who're you thinking of?"

"Oh…just some palace brat from Xing," the genie answered slowly, lacing his tone with playful foreboding. "He's really nice to girls, but at the same time doesn't let them do whatever they want. If they abide to his rules, he rewards 'em with almost whatever they want." He smiled brightly at the strange look his master gave him, adding, "What? Don't believe I served under Ling, Son of the Emperor?"

The blonde gawked at him, gold eyes wide. "You were his genie!?" He leaned back with a sigh, still looking awed. "Wow…so Winrey's gonna fall in love with royalty?"

"Pretty much," the older male responded with a light shrug, looking as if he really didn't care. "So…the wish?"

"I wish Winrey was Ling's girlfriend instead of mine and that she loved him!"

They both laughed as Envy granted the wish, Ed getting to his feet and cracking his knuckles.

"Alright, you have one wish left," the genie reminded his master, leaning forward with a small grin on his face. "Don't waste it on something stupid."

"It's not stupid at all," the younger retorted, smiling at the seated being in front of him. "In fact, I think you'll like this wish."

The only one seated looked a little worried at first, then a look relating to boredom came up as he thought up a possible wish. "Let me guess, you wish for the Philosopher's Stone, right?" He frowned slightly when the other shook his head with a small smile.

"You gave back my brother's body," he answered simply, slipping his thumbs into his pants pockets. "That's why I wanted the Philosopher's Stone. With it back, I have no need for it."

Envy looked a little surprised, wondering why Ed wasn't thinking about his limbs but deciding it must not matter. "Then what is it?"

"Envy…" Gold eyes sparkling in excitement, Ed exclaimed, "I wish you were free from both being a genie and from your bondage to me!"

Amethyst eyes widened in shock, turning down to the wrists just as the bracelets and the sash around his waist turned to sparkling blue dust. His mouth hung open for several seconds before he asked in a small voice, "Why…?"

The human placed a gloved hand on the former genie's shoulder, still smiling. "I think you've been a genie for long enough," he answered, gently patting him. "Plus you've given me everything I've asked of you. It was the least I could do."

Slowly, a bright and happy smile came to Envy's face as he suddenly leapt up. "I'm free!" He smiled down sheepishly when he realized he had accidentally knocked the other over, offering him a hand. "Heh…sorry." Pausing for an instant after pulling the other up, he gave him a small glare. "But I will get revenge for all the things you made me do…"

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Ed exclaimed, raising both hands in the "halt" position. "Why get revenge on me? Your father's the one who started all this, you should be getting revenge on _him_."

The former servant looked down almost guiltily, looking back up at his former master after a few seconds. "…you're right, he's the one I should be going after. Thanks," he said as he began to make his way past the shorter boy, instantly stopping in his tracks when he grabbed his arm.

"Not so fast, I'm going to help you."

Surprised amethyst make contact with confident gold. "Really? You'd help someone like me?" Even after the other nodded, he had a hard time believing that the young human would bother helping him out. He also began to think that he had underestimated the child. _Heh, he's really not that bad, after all…_

Ed suddenly looked down at himself. "There's only one bad thing about this…"

"What?"

"I'm short again…" The blonde boy glared at the dark-haired male when he started laughing, seeming to want to tear out the other's throat.

"Well, Master…we need to start thinking up ideas on how to get revenge on Father." He paused for an instant before adding, "Ah…I think you still need to let your brother in."

The Pipsqueak jumped in surprise. "Al! I completely forgot he was at the door!" Before unlocking the bathroom door, he pushed on the taller boy's chest. "You stay in here, he doesn't know about you."

Envy nodded, seating himself back on the toilet seat and crossing his legs. "I'll wait here, then…"

Stepping out into the main room, Ed smiled at Envy as he stated, "We'll start planning as we make our way to your father's hide-out."

The newly-freed being smiled back. "I'll be waiting for that, then."


	9. Epilogue

**A/N:** Here we are, the final chapter (I know…I'm sad, too!), and hopefully it'll be ridiculously funny. Anyway, there'll be a few questions at the bottom after the ending to the story, so keep your eyes out!!

_Epilogue_

Walking through the slime-graven sewers just beneath the city of Central were Ed and Envy, both of them discussing what to do when they reached the lair of the former genie's Father.

"So, ah…" the blonde started, freezing to keep himself from sliding on some gunk amongst the sludge. "Oh, _why_ does he live underground again?"

"Because," the dark-haired male answered, lightly smacking the smaller on the back to get him moving forward again. "With very few people coming down here, it's the safest place to be if you're looking for secrecy."

"Although that makes a lot of sense," the leather-clad boy began, giving a nearby rat a distasteful, disgusting look, "There are better ways of finding secrecy."

"For you, perhaps…" Amethyst eyes turned toward the darkness of the tunnel ahead, contemplative yet unusually alert. "Hey, I got an idea…"

"Same here." Gold made contact with amethyst, both curious. "You wanna start?"

"You go ahead." To prove that he was honest, he waved a hand and put on an expression of carelessness.

The younger nodded. "Well, I was thinking…we all have some sort of weakness, right? Even temporary ones."

Envy's eyes widened very slightly, apparently being of the same thought. "And…?"

"So, if we can somehow find that particular weakness in your father, then perhaps we can defeat him." Ed shrugged his shoulders, suddenly looking as if he doubted his idea. "But if he's really powerful enough to turn one of his own children into a genie…"

The taller gave the smaller a semi-smile, partly turning his head away. "No, you're on the right track…Father _does_ have a weakness, as all of us do."

The human boy's eyes lit up almost instantly. "And you know what that weakness is?"

"Of course." The pale-skinned male gave his former master a quirky smile, raising an eyebrow. "Honestly, Master, it's as if you don't trust me."

"Okay, quick question," the blonde stated, stepping in front of the other and stopping their stride. "Why do you still call me Master, even though you've been officially free for over a week? Is it a form of thanks or something?"

Envy's blank expression was slowly replaced by a wry smile, mischievous amethyst eyes turning away. "Something like that…" Sidling past the younger human, he placed his hands behind his back as he continued on down the tunnel, seeming to be oblivious to the grimy slime underfoot. "Let's get going, Father's liable to have changed his location since the last time I was free, so who knows how long it might take to get to the lair."

Giving the other male a peculiar look, Ed resumed following. "Another question…what exactly _is_ your father's weakness?"

The purple-eyed being gave the gold-eyed one a sort of smile when the other came by his side. "Well, it's something of an allergy…"

–_**two hours later –**_

Envy was grinning insanely, watching his former master giggle hysterically at the plan they had finished concocting. After only a few minutes, however, amethyst eyes changed from silly and playful to deathly serious as they noticed something peculiar in the distance, shooting an arm out to halt his partner-in-crime's pace.

"What is it?" the blonde asked, noticing the look on the other male's face and quickly becoming serious himself. Gold eyes following the other's gaze, they both cautiously made their way to a ledge. They found it overlooked a large room that contained several tables littered with papers and laboratory equipment.

"So this is where you decided to go…" the humanoid whispered, eyes narrowing.

The human boy was preparing to jump over the ledge when the other shot out his arm to stop him again.

"Wait, Master…it could be dangerous." After a minute of staring hard at the room below, he slowly turned his gaze toward his partner, still looking very serious. "You go first."

Ed gawked at Envy. "What!? But this is _your_ mission! Why do I go first?"

"Because…" the older slurred, smirking evilly. "You said you'd help me with this, didn't you? Besides, I _did_ say I'd get you back for all the things you made me do…"

The smaller glared at the taller, rolling his eyes after a moment. "Figures…" Leaping down with the other not very far behind him, they both carefully, quietly crept around the room, checking every hallway to make sure no one was around. "So…where do you keep the food?"

Envy frowned, the look in his eyes showing he was a little lost. "They've moved around so much and change storage locations so frequently, I honestly have no idea where…"

The blonde sighed, not in impatience, but more in disappointment. "Well, we'd better keep looking, then…" Waving for the other to follow, he randomly started walking down a nearby hallway that quickly turned into more of a tunnel than anything else. At the end was a table, and looking toward the left was something relating to a refrigerator. "Oh, I think we found it."

"Naw," the humanoid started sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I thought this was the morgue!"

"Thanks for pointing out my horrible point-out," Ed said in a voice that sounded cross, giving the other male a hard look. "Let's get this over with," he added as he walked over to the fridge and opened to check the contents. Noticing a small chunk of blue cheese, he carefully took it out and replaced it with…a different hunk of blue cheese? "Bait's set. Now let's find a good hiding spot in this room so we can catch your father by surprise."

"First," the dark-haired male started, raising a finger. "We need a weapon. The food will only weaken him, not kill him." Looking over to what he supposed was a sink, he opened a cabinet and found a small box of knives. "…nevermind, found what we'll use."

"You mean what _I_'ll use," the blonde stated, reaching past the crouched figure and grabbing one of the longer knifes. "It'll look peculiar if you're just standing here holding a knife, don't you think? Besides, I think it would work better if it looked like some sort of surprise ambush."

Raising a slender brow, the older male stood back up with a small nod. "That would be more convincing, even with the fact that I technically should still be a genie…"

Gold eyes lowered, a strange, unsettled look coming onto his face. "Oh yeah…that's a problem, then…"

Envy shrugged. "I'll figure out something to say before he comes." Looking at the ceiling, he noticed one of the tiles was slightly ajar. "Huh, when did Father decide to become so homely…?" Leaping gracefully onto the counter, he lifted the tile and moved it to the side. "It's big enough to let both of us climb in at the same time," he thought out loud, unaware that he somehow gave the other the impression he was subtly making fun of his size. "And it's not very far from the fridge, either…Master, I think I've found your hiding place."

Ed grinned, holding the knife as if he were preparing to stab some unsuspecting victim. "Alright, let's get ready…"

–_**about an hour later –**_

A blonde-haired, bearded man clothed in a white robe walked slowly into the room, as if somehow expecting something to be different. Amethyst eyes instantly noticed Envy leaning against the counter. "Envy…so you're back?"

"Yes, Father," the child-like being responded solemnly, looking up at the new arrival. A slightly surprised look came to his features as he carefully added, "Father, you've aged…"

"So have you." Indeed, he did look much older now than when Envy had last seen him, and although the younger had a grudge against the older he couldn't help feeling slightly concerned by the change. Setting his hands on his youngest child, Father asked, "Have you learned from your lesson?"

A look of darkness came over the older boy's eyes, a serious look on his face. "Yes…I've learned to hate." Wrinkling his nose, the dark-clad male added, "Humans are a waste of existence."

Ed, who had hidden himself in the ceiling just behind the loose tile, shuddered slightly at the tone his former servant was using. He mouthed out the words "Wow, if I didn't know any better I'd believe him…"

The oldest in the room seemed to buy it, giving a sort of regretful smile before stepping toward the fridge. "I'm sorry I had to teach you this way…"

"I understand your intentions, Father," Envy responded quietly as if to somehow console the older man. "This experience has taught me a lot of things…"

Nodding, Father opened the fridge and took out the cheese. Taking a small whiff, he frowned subtly and held it just below eye-level.

"…is there something wrong, Father?" He pushed away from the counter, cautiously walking toward his father. "Anything I can do?" His muscles seemed to loosen up a bit when the man shook his head.

"No, you've been through enough." Giving a soundless sigh, Father took a bite out of the whitish cheese. A few minutes after consuming the food, however, it seemed clear something wasn't right.

"Father?" Envy grabbed the older man's shoulders, trying to hold him upright. "Father, what's wrong?"

"That…was moldy cheddar…"

Amethyst eyes widened in false alarm, the youngest of the man's sons carefully walking the other toward the sink. "Oh my god, will you be alright?"

"Yes," Father answered weakly, smiling comfortingly at the dark-haired boy. "Just need to rest for a little bit…"

"Then rest you shall get," Envy countered, his worried expression dissolving into a wry, evil grin, flipping the older man onto his back right in front of the sink.

Seeing his cue, Ed kicked the tile to the side and leapt out of his hiding place, plunging the knife into the man's chest like a dagger. "Not a bad trick, eh?" the blonde smirked, looking evil even though he was beginning to tremble very slightly. He seemed to relax considerably when, instead of just simply dying, the corpse dissolved into dust.

"Well," the older boy began, brushing his hands together as if finishing something dirty, "Let's start cleaning up." Grabbing a nearby broom, he nudged Pipsqueak away and started brushing the mess away.

"Wow…" The smaller began giggling hysterically, pointing at the broom. "You even still _act_ like a servant…!"

The taller paused, giving the younger an angry, pointed look. "Not, another, word…" Noticing a small space underneath the fridge, he brushed the dust underneath and propped the broom next to the sink. "Alright…let's leave this place."

"Not so fast, you two."

Amethyst eyes widened in startled surprise, the being owning those orbs slowly turning toward the tunnel and finding someone he had apparently been longing to see. "Lust…"

Gold eyes widened in alarm, staring fixedly on the woman blocking the only exit. "Wha-what do you want?"

"Only one thing…" Lust slowly walked toward her younger brother, high heels clicking lightly on the marble floor. "To join you and my brother."

The blonde gawked at her while the older male almost smiled.

"Ah…" Clearing his throat, the only human in the room asked, "What'll you do if we don't let you join us?"

The only female gave the smallest boy a cold, venomous glare. "Then I'll drag your innards back to the lab and tell everyone else about this atrocity," she answered icily, turning her fingertips into lances and extending them toward the blonde's throat and chest without stepping forward.

Envy stepped forward and placed a calming hand on his sister's shoulder. "Of course you can join us," he whispered softly, giving her a gentle smile. "I'd let you join even without that threat."

Frowning in confusion, Ed interrupted, "Er…if you don't mind, we kinda need to get going before someone else comes by."

Nodding in agreement, the older male patted Lust's shoulder and started walking, beginning out slow so she could walk beside him. "When we're far enough away from here, I have a few questions…"

"So do I, Envy."

Making sure he didn't go into their personal space, the human crept back over to the ledge where he and his partner-in-crime had entered the lab, making it to the top with the other male's help.

Partway up the sewer tunnel, the only female asked her brother whilst giving the only human a distrusting look, "Why are we letting this pipsqueak of a human tag along?" She almost started smirking at the angry, indignant look the smallest gave her in response.

"Edward Elric freed me from the lamp," Envy answered with an undertone of reverence, giving the other male a polite glance. "I sorta owe him for that favor."

Pausing for an instant, she gave the shorter of the trio an apologetic look. "I'm sorry for the tone I used earlier."

"I should've expected it," he retorted, waving as if the incident didn't hold any importance. "Envy already explained the reason why you father, ah…placed him in the lamp. I understand why you used that tone." Giving her a patient smile, he walked out ahead of the siblings, seeming to be in a really good mood.

Leaning toward her brother, Lust whispered, "He's…different, from most other humans."

"He's not all bad," he responded, giving Ed a trusting smile.

–_**the following morning –**_

Ed stepped out of the apartment building, preparing to go to work (it was a Monday, after all). He didn't get very far before Envy stopped him.

"I have a little question to ask," he whispered, seriousness in amethyst eyes.

The blonde turned to fully face the other male, gold eyes showing both seriousness and curiosity. "What is it?"

"Why were you trembling when you killed my father?"

Gold eyes widened, averting away from amethyst. "Er…well, I've never killed anyone before…"

"…kinda scary, huh?"

The smaller nodded, looking back up at the other male. "I'm sure to kill again, though, if I continue working for the military…"

Giving a small, almost comforting smile, the humanoid rested a hand on the human's shoulder. "It'll be alright, trust in that…you're a good boy, Edward."

Ed smiled back at Envy, gold eyes almost elated with the comment. "Thanks, Envy." Giving the taller a small pat on the arm, he continued down the street with a bright smile on his face. He didn't think anything could go wrong, up 'till he entered the building of which he worked in.

Havoc walked over to the smaller blonde, a suspicious look on his face. "Edward? When did you get small again?"

"Cut the jokes," the red-cloaked boy cut in sharply, giving the taller an almost bored expression. "Just coming by to pick up a new assignment from Mustang." It was his turn to put on a suspicious look when the other began snickering. "What's so funny?"

"You'll see when we get to the Colonel's office," Havoc responded, smirking and trying not to laugh. The both of them headed on down the hallway, stopping in front of the doors.

"This doesn't sound good," Ed muttered when he heard familiar music playing from the other room, hesitantly pushing the doors open…and gawking in horror when he saw nearly everyone in the military squeezed in the relatively small office watching a single screen propped in the desk. "Oh no…!"

"_Show me all that you've thrown away,"_ sang the blonde boy on the screen, slowly waving his extended hand toward the audience with playful mischief in gold eyes. _"Find out games you don't wanna play…"_

The Colonel, who was conveniently seated near the door, smiled mockingly at the State Alchemist. "I never knew you could sing so well, Edward," he said in a calm tone, although his onyx eyes were laughing at him.

At this, everyone turned to look at the very embarrassed-looking boy with wide, amused grins.

"Heya, Amestrian Idol Alchemist!" one of them teased, earning a chorus of laughter from everyone else.

"Where'd you get that tape!?" Ed demanded, looking around at the crowd.

"I brought it!" an all-too-familiar girl's voice answered, a very specific blonde girl waving from the far side of the room.

"Winrey!?" The blonde alchemist gawked at her, jaw still hanging open when he saw a boy with black hair, slanted eyes and wearing strange-looking clothing was sitting next to her. "Wha…!?"

Winrey smiled brightly at him, tilting her head to the side. "What's the matter? I thought we had fun at our date Saturday night!"

"Certainly looked fun," the strange boy supported in a strange accent, although it seemed to accentuate the amused tone he still carried. He, too, smiled a sickeningly bright smile. "You have a very nice voice, I might add."

Only staying long enough to hear Winrey exclaim a "The prince of Xing just gave a commoner a compliment!", he stormed down the hall and out of the building.

"That's the last time I _ever_ go on a date…"

**A/N 2:** As promised, here are the questions… **1) Do you want us to write a sequel? 2) If we were to write a sequel, would you give us some ideas we could use (considering we're plumb out of ideas of our own)?**

Please R&R and we hope you enjoyed our little collab!


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